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Yes it does take time. She met her first black lover online and lucky for both of us he was hung. Size was important to me and at first she was afraid to tell me how big he was for fear I would cut her off.

They hooked up about once a month for 12 years. She met her next lover at a Jazz bar and again was fortunate that he was hung as well.

She told me it takes 4 to 5 minutes to swallow his entire load. I have watched the videos and I come so hard it gives me a headache. By the way I am 70 years old and there is no way I can satisfy her the way her Black Daddy can.

Its been over times now. She broke it of with him and found herself another black man. She is excited like a school girl.

Her attitude is changing and she is more relaxed. She loves his 9. He spoils her so it's all good. No problems. My wife and I have been married for 8 years and have 2 kids.

After she had the second one, she had her tubes tied. After a weekend at the beach with the girls she came home with both nipples pierced and not wearing her wedding band.

I told her of my suspicions and she said we needed to talk. Actually she did most of the talking while I listened.

She started with things are different now. She said she still loved me and we would stay together but that she had been dating this black guy she worked with.

They decided she would stop wearing our wedding ring and had bought her a new diamond over the weekend. It was being sized and she would start wearing it when is was done.

That was 3 years ago. Since then when she is with him she is often passed around to his friends. If they are over at our house, I am to stay in the garage.

I have never seen her with him or any of his friends. My parents and hers, as well as most of our friends, are aware of our situation and while they may not agree to it they accept it.

Most of you will not be able to understand it but this works for us and I do not see it changing any time soon. Sounds like she knows what she wants.

I would love to watch my wine with hung black men. So hot. I would love to find her a steady black man in Tucson. Beautiful relationship.

This is becoming more common. Just accept the fact she loves black men. My wife who is 51 is in love with her 39 year old black man and plans to love with him.

He also loves her. I told her whatever makes you happy go for it. He gives her what I can't plus she has feelings for him. Just allow her to have her black lovers.

My wife has a black man and totally hooked on him. She loves him and he loves her. It's okay with me because we have a special bond.

Very nice arrangement! But you should be fluffing and cleaning up. Time for you to move on. You are being disrespected, taken advantage of on many different levels.

Let the black guy support your wife and kids, see what happens. I hadn't heard the word before, but they call her a "passaround". It's a sickness but I can't hardly stop it.

Don't stop it enjoy getting sloppy seconds or thirds. Do it today. My wife is one of those women who seem to attract black men to her like she was a magnet.

They will just walk up to her and start flirting. I'd like to be able to shoot them. Well you copuld shoot one but when you get to join or pen with ever you call it you will learn to enjoy black your self.

You should consider yourself lucky!! And serve them! I bet your wife would love that. I know how it looks, I really do.

Even some of my friends have said the same things to me. And although I know some guys are into all of that and more , I couldn't do that.

I stay with her because I truly love her and don't want to be without her, but if she started insisting that I do what you're describing, I would have to leave because I couldn't do that.

I don't think it will come to that, but if it ever does, I'll go. Well you can stay with her if you want to beut me I'd rather avoid possible stds and having my wife get knocked by another man.

If my wife even suggested doing something like this she would soon be my ex wife. You touched on the thing that is my greatest concern out of all of this.

Not disease, but pregnancy. I really worry about her getting pregnant. I don't think she would do it, but I could certainly see her intentionally having one of her lovers knock her up.

It would be mean for her to do it, but she is very capable of it. She has a mean streak. A very mean streak. It's just nature. Get ready, dude: you will soon be raising black children.

My wife works as a manager at a hotel in the business district of the city we live in. At least once a week, she hooks up with one of the black male guests and winds up spending the night with him.

We are a Mexican couple in our early fifties. We have been married 30 years and have three adult children. I know it's not for everyone but we are both very happy.

Oh and he is we're well endowed 9 inches and thick which she loves. My wife says her black man gives her the best she ever had. She is excited to meet up with him and spends the night.

No problem. She is more relaxed when she comes back to me. I encourage it. She loves it. How old are you? My wife doesn't do it but her older sister does.

I have never understood and never will understand how she manages to keep her husband from leaving her but he hasn't left yet. She's okay-looking but not beautiful, and she's not all that terribly well built, but she can totally draw the black men.

They are all over this woman. I should of just let her have her fun and have her biracial babies and everything would of been fine. In stead everything is so NOT fine.

I want her back. And I still love her. I'm not married but I had a young girl move in with me over the summer and she does this too.

Lots of blacks. But all those young girls go black these days. All of them. It wasn't that way when I was younger, but it damn shore is now. Any time you see one out in public she got an older black guy or guys all over her ass.

My wife is 45 and has a black boyfriend around her age He has no children and she lost one with us.. Now they want to have children which is fine she just went off birth control..

I just found out he is sharing her with his brother I hate that. I want my white wife to make love to a black guy. She says that she wants to but is afraid that he will be too big.

I try to convince her that she would be able to handle it but she is still reluctant. Like most of the others on here I want to have a chance to eat a crempie.

My wife loves white, Mexican and black men all the same. BBC is her special men. They know how to take care of her sexual needs. I know you meant that as a joke or as a cultural reference, but she's actually said those same words to me, more than once, and always with a smile on her face.

Divorse her ass unless your into it. Then I'd divorce her anyway because of aids. I'm not into it at all. I hate it and I wish she would stop but she won't.

I still love her and that's why I've stuck it out so far. I can't imagine that it matters not often, not many, or not white matters - the fact that other men penetrate your wife seems to be the big issue.

What role do you play in this? Does she tell you details? Yes, it is "full contact", as they say. I guess you are probably right about the frequency, yes, the fact alone is enough of an embarrassment and humiliation and I wish she wouldn't do it any more.

Several of our friends know about her indiscretions, and some understandably think less of me for staying with her even though she cheats. It's humiliating.

As for my role in her affairs, it's virtually none. And no, she doesn't share any details, although she does nothing to hide her desires, since she talks to the other men on her phone while at home, and she occasionally leaves the house in the middle of the night to go be with one of them.

But no, she doesn't talk about the other relationships she participates in with these other men.

She makes love with her blacks because they drive her to "heights of arousal" this is how she talks now that I never have and never could. I read your narration with deep sense of empathy.

A lot of folks have had enough confusion from a "confused world" to last for a life time! Lack of "personal identity" can bore oneself sick even to having suicide thoughts.

Just good old-fashioned dates, conversations, and sheet-tangling sex. I see my lover as often as a few times a month or as rarely as every six months, depending on our schedules and desires.

So why do I gleefully indulge in these occasional overnight romps with Jay instead of sticking to the model of monogamy most of my something friends desperately embrace while quietly withering inside?

I break the benefits down into three separate but related categories, each of which positively contributes to my life as a wife, parent, student, and employee: communication, passion, and rejuvenation.

A great deal of that work is simply communicating in ways that make sure both parties get heard, acknowledged, and respected. When Austin and I first started exploring the idea of opening up our relationship to include additional lovers, we had to do an extraordinary amount of additional communicating.

We had to try extra hard to make sure we were actively listening, holding each other in compassion, and seeking what was best for our relationship.

We had to fight our way through a lot of crappy conversations to get to the point where now we feel at least slightly more confident in our ability to share our wants, needs, and desires without fear of getting automatically shut down based on jealousy or insecurity.

I feel more confident in my ability to communicate with Austin as well as everyone else in my life, something that only serves to enhance my skills as a parent and contributes positively to my career.

Of course it would be. I think you mean you want to know how to get this out in the open without revealing the creepy presence of home surveillance, yes?

And how you found out — by hiding teeny tiny cameras all over the house you shared with one other person — no matter what the motivation, is all harm and foul.

But how to get this out in the open? However, if you go with the technically accurate though parsed truth — you found his underwear — this lets you broach the topic without admitting to malfeasance and the discussions can begin.

Moreover there are great resources out there, like Transformation , where he can go as deep as you and he are interested in going.

In any case, asking about the underwear would be a necessary first step and the least loaded and possibly most successful way to go.

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Jay is a passionate and skilled lover who enjoys the sexual opportunities I offer without expecting any kind of serious commitment. He brings toe-curling excitement to my life and I get to turn around and bring that high-octane sexual energy back home to Austin.

Everyone wins. For years, my therapist has urged me to take mini-vacations to get away from the stress of trying to keep up with managing a household, getting a PhD, and working.

Unfortunately, I always felt obligated to take care of my husband, our kids, our dogs, our house, my classes, and projects…the list could go on and on.

I had everything keeping me at home and nothing pulling me away. So even though I knew a break every now and then would help me recharge my batteries, it almost never happened.

But now, when I feel like the stress is becoming unbearable and my nerves are close to being shot, I plan a night or two with Jay to counterbalance everything else going on in my life.

Just getting away from the usual routine helps me regain my equilibrium and return to my place as a productive and pleasant member of my family and society.

Jay and I are old friends and the comfort that comes from being at his house with no responsibilities and a glass of wine does something miraculous to my anxiety level.

Jay reminds me, through our conversations and caresses, to be gentle, compassionate, and vulnerable. He helps restore my sense of calm and sends me back to Austin with a soft heart that is better able to deal with the stress of real life.

Savannah Whitman is the pseudonym of a doctoral student in Psychology who lives in Portland, Oregon with her husband, three teenagers, and two dogs.

This article was originally published at Role Reboot. Reprinted with permission from the author. Sign in.

The wife attends to home and family while the husband goes out to bring home the money. Now, it has all changed. Here you are with your own version of how a modern family looks like.

Due to the difference in age between you and your wife and maybe your emotional condition, it would seem that your love for your wife is beyond the experience of the usual possession-oriented love of a spouse towards another spouse.

Others may judge this as the wrong way of going through a relationship. However, relating to another human being is not about judging and possessing.

This is about real love and happiness. The ability to live your life without judging another human being and being sensitive to their needs is a truly magnanimous trait.

The concern you present to me tells me that you are experiencing a sense of uncertainty because of the situation you have put yourself in.

You can see that your wife is happy, exceeding your expectations of her potential to be happy. This caused you to feel the uncertainty of the future and the fear of losing her.

I guess you are not ready to fully let go of the traditional concept of loving someone. You cannot undo what you have created because feelings are involved.

Your only recourse is to continue what you have started. Your wife loves you terribly now because you have sacrificed everything for her.

But now, she does not love you like a husband because her needs from you are different now. Her feelings of love for you may now be that of a child to a father or parent.

Sex is not part of your relationship now. She has learned to love someone else as a partner. You must think twice before you continue watching them as they have their rendezvous.

See if negative feelings start to arise because of this. If so, you might want to discuss it with your wife and modify the situation.

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